title: By Chance
date: september 22, 2002



When Ron closes his eyes at night, there’s always this strand of hope in him: that somewhere beyond the blindness, he will be able to grope his way and finally reach Harry. And before he falls asleep, when he feels his body heavily slip away into the floating state we call dreaming, he always imagines for a split second that the sudden weight is another boy settling into his side. But this happens so quickly, these feelings are irregardless to him anyway.

Ron likes to play safe. Or at least, when his temper allows him to; because when Malfoy’s up there taunting Harry he can’t help but hurtle towards the bastard like an angry, white-hot asteroid. Ron doesn’t like chances, he doesn’t like considering the possibilities just because there are possibilities. Ron likes definites; Ron likes being stuck. It’s a pleasant place, mostly.

Sometimes Ron looks at Harry and thinks, a little closer, a little closer. And our lips might touch. This happens especially when Harry falls asleep on Ron’s shoulder during Divination, neck exposed like a deer. But Ron is always afraid of Harry’s deer eyes and how wide they’d stretch if Ron ever did take that step forward to Harry’s mouth.

But maybe Harry wants it too. Maybe Harry wants this tenuous contact. Maybe Harry looks at Ron and sees the distance and the galaxies of would-bes that stretch between them. Maybe Harry lies in bed and waits too.